The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
