I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
then he tried to convert me to islam
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
