Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
