I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
