she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
