My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize