smell my finger.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize