My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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