He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
