I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
