you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
