Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
