just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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