Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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