There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
