we made out on top of his cat.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
