My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Dicks are not precious.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
