lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
