i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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