Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm gonna fight the coyote
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
