Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
why do cheetos always look like penises
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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