he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
