i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize