Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
