Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize