Screwed.edu
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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