apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
