I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
