he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize