i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize