i don't like sucking hair
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
