I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Then you guys just all showered together...?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
