like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize
