I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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