He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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