quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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