Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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