why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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