I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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