I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize