Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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