I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
