How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
PANTIES FOUND
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
