i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
17 year olds will be the death of me.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I think people are normalizing furries
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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