I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
