anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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