So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
