Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
