yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
