I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
