I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
