Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
