You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
