Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
