You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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