What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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