STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
