I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
